'The Visit' watercolor and gouache, 9 1/8 in by 8 5/8 in.
"What meaning does doing art have for you?"
Painting has evolved for me, so there are many answers
to this question. It is a nonverbal thing - about feelings
and processes more than meanings...about being present
and connecting. In 2002 I began drawing, just animals ,
because I felt connected to them. This was after a long
chronic illness, which persists, in order to salvage something
from the wreckage. For many years it was forced , I drew
and painted very rarely, because of a really brutal inner
critic. Finally,about two years ago,the critic got the boot.
I' d say that painting began as a way to defy death, which
was in fact on my shoulder. For me art defines a moment,
it is a meditation on the present moment.... it is a celebration
of life in the face of loss, as well as daily insults. As in Galway
Kinnell's poem , The Flower of Five Blossoms, it matters
that we go on singing. I agree with Billy Elliot, in the movie,
when he said of dancing that it helps him to disappear...
what a relief.
I do a lot of self portraits, for lack of any other models...
they have become a sort of inquiry into my various selves,
masks...asking "who am I?" It may seem narcissistic, but,
far from it for at fifty seven , it's really no picnic looking into
the mirror.....Each portrait is a process asking that question,
and bringing forth one of the many selves.. hopefully so
others can see parts of themselves also. I enter into it not
knowing what will happen, each time new, open, often scared,
I paint to find out what gives and am often surprised .
I love paint and color... I am curious and love to find out
what if I put this mark here, this color /shape there. In the
moment of painting, it simply makes me feel better, even
I love beauty, and I wanted to leave behind something
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